i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
