Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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