I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
