I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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