Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
