She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
