Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
