Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
