Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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