Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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