Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize