i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
