He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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