At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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