you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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