I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
