I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
