I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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