Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
