Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
