dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
why do cheetos always look like penises
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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