STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
