Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
