How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
