it was like his penis was on wheels.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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