Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
