He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
