She is in my trunk
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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