stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
