i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
