He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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