I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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