Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
