This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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