at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
