pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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