So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
