This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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