I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The chlamydia really affected his face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
