The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
high people should be assigned attendants
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
