Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
