Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
