sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
