I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize