someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
