That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I want is dick and wine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
