My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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