i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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