I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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