dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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