my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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