i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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