Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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