do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
